Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
