There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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