Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
