Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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