I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize