Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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