Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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