So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize