Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
