I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she told me i tasted like america
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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