Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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