When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize