well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
