Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
