I want to have your abortion
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
