Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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