i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
