By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
