You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
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How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dear god my vagina.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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