Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
