You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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