i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
