Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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