They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
