Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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