i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
