Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
