don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
