oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you had me at cake vodka
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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