Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
