it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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