So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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