He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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