I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
