Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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