Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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