So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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