I faked an abortion last night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
