Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
