I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
