New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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