Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
please don't ironically join a cult
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