Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
