two words...techno handjob
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
