They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
