Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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