It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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