i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I just sharted jello shots
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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