so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We got so high we made milksteak
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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