youre lurking in front of me
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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