Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize