Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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