New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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