Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
