Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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