its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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