Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
