you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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