I cannot find my penis.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
