I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
