Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
