just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
