um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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